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| At the Races

No one can accuse me of not being well rounded. On Monday I could be at a cocktail party chatting to a transsexual, on Tuesday having dinner at a summer home on Lake George discussing speed boats with a Republican, on Wednesday be at a potluck dinner in an inner-city church basement, have a business lunch in Manhattan on Thursday and, on days like today, going to a demolition derby in some far off rural county.

What can I say? I get around.

Today was fun. I went to the annual “Eve of Destruction” at the Lebanon Valley Motor Speedway. It was a unique experience.

First off, the majority of people who attend this event are poor, rural, white men who smoke like chimneys. And they really enjoy watching these races – and I had fun too; watching them watch the races.

They had several races and events including:

The Paper Bag Race -- this race consisted of drivers racing junk cars at high speeds with paper bags on their heads, blocking their vision. They navigated around the track by their navigator who sat in the passenger seat shouting out directions to them.

The Rollover Competition – in these event drivers jumped over a ramp to see how many times they could get their cars to roll over.

The School Bus Race – 10 School Buses drove at reckless high speeds to see who could win this ten lap race.

A large dump truck drove at high speeds into a school bus.

A police car was driven into a pile of junk cars and exploded.

A demolition derby was held to see which car could be last one functioning.

And the finale: A car with a jet engine called The Green Mamba which used the heat and flame produced by the jet to melt another car to molten steel.

All this for $12 dollars.

Good Times.

An Update:

My trial went off without a hitch. My lawyer stuck a deal in which if I don’t receive a driving ticket in the next six months; my current ticket will be dismissed. No fine, no points on my license. I will be driving very slowly for the next six months.

Oh, and those who are wondering about McKinley Cat. She just received a blood test to see how her liver was functioning. The vet said her tests came back perfectly normal. What a relief. She is acting like her normal, rambunctious self as well. Thank you all for your support and prayers. It was touch and go there for a while.

Thank you St. Francis -- Patron Saint of Animals
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